First, why is it so hard to meet a mate in the FC?
1. There aren't that many social gathering places besides bars. Bars are loud, and people tend to go in groups and not talk to other groups. Also, alcohol makes quality interactions less likely.
2. This is the suburbs. A lot of people are already married, so single people have fewer friends to go out with. Everyone knows that married people just sit at home.
3. I'm not really sure why else. I think many of us are complicated over-achievers with way too high standards.
My tips for meeting a mate:
1. Do go out to bars, even if it sucks. It's good practice talking to people. Try a fun bar like Tigin on a Tuesday, when Trivia is happening. I meet boatloads of people when I go to Trivia, but it's the single people who should be working it, not me. I look around at all the UBS dudes at the bar at Tigin and think, where the hell are the single ladies who should be all over them?
2. Work your connections. Don't be shy. Let your older coworkers know that you are dating; they might hook you up.
3. I've met nice friends on meetup.com. You could probably meet a mate through that.
4. Fairfield County Happy Hour Club!
5. Understand the role of chance, and get your ass out there. My friend once met a nice guy in an elevator at the Greenwich Library. She was checking out kids' books, he was studying for some accounting test. They were a bad match, but he was a good guy. The "friend" is actually me, but I don't want to talk about old boyfriends in front of my husband- even though he recently told me he usually only reads the beginnings of my posts, so who knows if he'll even read this far.
The "get your ass out there" method works. I met my husband randomly through a roommate of mine who neither of us was very good friends with. The roomie invited a bunch of people out for lunch after a business school test she was taking. I had nothing to do, so figured I might as well have lunch with her before going to the
gym. One man showed up, a guy she'd met out at the bars through a guy we'll call "The Baker." My soon-to-be boyfriend/husband was The Baker's neighbor, and he had gone out with The Baker a few times. See why it's important to go out? If my husband had not gone out to lame Stamford bars with his neighbor, we never would have met. Also, if my husband and I had been lazy and not gone out for a possibly lame lunch, we never would have met. That's freaking scary. (Photo: The happy couple, in photobooth with "rollercoaster" background. I'm trying to make my husband wave his arms like he's on a rollercoaster. As usual, he tries to play it cool.)Essentially, I'm telling you that you have to endure hell and loneliness to meet people in the FC, but that it should pay off in the end. If you can't wait a few years, move to Boston or NYC.
Related Stamford Talk posts:
--June 2008-- Socializing Opps with FC Happy Hour Club
--February 2008-- The Best Way to Meet People in Stamford!
--January 2008-- Stamford's Single Women: Where Are You?
--August 2007-- It's Easy to Meet People at Tuesday Trivia
