Stamford Mall: Elevator Hell and Annoying Kiosk People

I realized I was going to have to blog about my visit to the Stamford Mall Friday when I overhead a young hipster saying to his mother or possibly grandmother, "...ended up in Hoboken in nothing but a cowboy hat." I saw them two hours later, and he was still talking her ear off- he was languidly going on and on, and I didn't see her speak a word or even make a facial expression. I wondered if she had hired him to entertain her with stories as she walked. Endless, unstopping stories.

I also wanted to publicly rage about a mother with a stroller- who has no other choice but to use the mall's slow, small elevators- having to WAIT while several elevators filled with teens go by. I had to wait a full couple of minutes when I got to the mall for an elevator to even stop and open. The other lady waiting with a stroller said three other full ones had already stopped and she had to let them pass. And they're not full of people with leg problems, or older people- it's thirteen year olds, and sometimes guys in their 20s. In the future, I'm going to develop something to say to these people. I'm going to jam my stroller in the door to hold it open, and say, "Does anyone in here, who has perfectly healthy legs, want to get out so I, who cannot use the stairs, can use this elevator?" And then I'll hold the door until I get some answers. (Actually, I wouldn't do this, because I wouldn't put my baby between myself and the people. I guess I'd use my foot, although the stroller would be more dramatic.)

The only other thing I want to complain about is that kiosk outside the Apple store, where the person selling that nail buffer calls out as you pass, "Can I ask you a question?" See, they get you with that, because people don't want to say, "No." I usually just say, "No thanks." Well, when I was at the mall Friday, I was pushing my baby in the stroller and talking to my boss, who I'd just run into. The lady calls out, "Can I ask you a question?" Her question was totally inappropriate, because I was in the middle of a conversation, so I stammered, "Uh, no, uh, busy." I'm not going to stop and let you file my nail while my boss and my baby wait. DUH.

Back to the elevators. Other issues with them:
1. The floors outside the elevator are not marked. So, you get into the elevator, then realize you have no idea what number floor you are trying to get because you have no idea which number floor you are leaving. Brilliant. Like I am supposed to assume I enter the mall on floor 3, which is the ground floor?
2. For all except the new elevators by H and M, the elevator door is so narrow that only a stroller can fit through. Therefore, if I need to get off, and there are people between me and the door, those people have to get completely OFF the elevator to let me off.
3. Then, the doors start to close before they are back in.
4. God forbid my stroller and I get in when there are already people in the elevator. Then, I'M blocking the doors, and I have to get off to let them off, then swivel the stroller around to quickly leap back in as the doors start to shut on me, or my stroller.
5. Macy's only has escalators. So, if I want to go up a floor in Macy's, I have to go back out to the elevator by the Apple store. (And pass the lady or man who yells, "Can I ask you a question?") Or, maybe Macy's does have elevators hidden somewhere. I'll have to try to figure that out next time I'm there.

So anyway, going to Stamford mall is now really annoying, because I have to use tiny elevators full of teenagers. I suppose I could wear my baby in my sling, but then I'll be wearing a 16 pound baby, plus carrying a diaper bag and whatever I buy (and climbing up and down stairs with all that, or hopping on and off escalators). No, you sorta need a stroller for the mall, but unfortunately, Stamford Mall's poorly thought out elevators can make stroller navigation really frustrating.