Some lady called me a bitch tonight! Even the people I’m bitchiest to know I’m not a bitch, so obviously, that lady is a bitch. Damn. Bring on the teenage boys. They’re way more polite than 45 year old ladies. And, that bitch kicked my chair.Right as the movie started, I got up to move two seats over because I noticed that the girl behind me had her feet up on the chair beside me… with no shoes on. Ewwwww. As I clambered over my husband, the lady I was moving in front of muttered loudly, “Oh, don’t do that.” (Her feet were on the arm rest of the chair I was moving to.)
“I have to,” I hissed. “That lady near me has her feet up and her shoes off. It’s gross.” I plopped down as she heaved her feet off. A second later, she gave my chair a pronounced kick. I turned and said, “What?!? I’m allowed to change my seat.”
That’s when she goes, “Bitch.”
I could have said, “I’m not a bitch. You’re a bitch.” But any adult who will kick the chair of another adult is clearly coo coo for Cocoa Puffs. Why bother engaging a crazy bitch? I work with children, so I’m used to restraining myself from expressing the strong emotions I’m feeling. Adults are a piece of cake. You bitches can’t get to me. I’ll just talk about you behind your back later. You suck, and you’re not worth my time. Gossiping about bitchy people, though, is fun. I’ll do that instead.
Actually, the one thing I wanted to ask this lady was if she was from Stamford. I don’t want that bitch in my town.
Oh! We saw Burn After Reading and it was pretty good. It’s a Coen brothers film, so of course there are a couple of bloody killings.
Me to husband, after movie: “Want to go home?”
Husband: “Aren’t you going to get in a fight?”
Me: “No, that lady was crazy.”
Husband: “I know, but your job is to entertain me.”
Me: “Nah. I have bigger things to worry about than that lady.”
One more thing: Maybe she kicked my chair by accident, but I don't think so. It was a hard kick, so I don't think it was from clumsiness. Plus, from the way she said, "Oh, don't do that," in a bossy, annoyed, entitled way, clearly, she was nasty.
