Gordon Ramsey, Cleavage, Me, and a Kitchen Nightmare in Stamford

Stamford will give you what you want if you look.
I want culture, and I want excitement.
I went on Saturday morning to the Avon Film Festival (culture) and stumbled upon the reality show Kitchen Nightmares (excitement).

I’d never heard of the show, but the premise is to take a failing restaurant and turn it around. Despite zealous protests from my husband, I got our name on the list for Tuesday.

After signing our model release form and getting our pictures taken, we were the first ones in the downstairs eating area. We were met by a nervous waiter, soon followed by Gordon Ramsay, who wanted to know what we thought of the gaudy waterfall sculpture on the wall. “It’s nice!” I said. When I’m nervous, I smile and make cheerful conversation.
G: “No it’s not, it’s hideous!”
Me: “Well- it doesn’t match anything else in the restaurant.”
G: “It’s hideous. You’ve got to tell the owner to get rid of it.”

After a few minutes, I got used to the 2 men in black looming over me with a large camera and boom mike. We weren’t given any instructions on how to act, so I just acted like a person eating dinner. It seemed to go over well.
When a course arrived, or even a bread basket, the cameramen swooped in. They were completely silent, so I figured I wouldn’t talk to them either. We each pretended the other didn’t exist. From what I’ve seen of reality TV, that’s what you do. I really like reality TV: Supernanny, America’s Next Top Model, America’s Biggest Loser and Project Runway are all on my TiVo.

In my reality TV debut, I ignored the cameras, flirted with my husband, swilled my Metropolitan, and cleaned my plate.

The camera spent a lot of time on a brunette with enviable cleavage.

Actually, I just this second went to chowhound, where I posted,

“A-
I think I was sitting right across from you... were you the blond, or the brunette with the great cleavage? (If you're the blond, maybe you have great cleavage too, it just wasn't facing me.)
Ha!
Gordon was adorable- hot, even. The beef special was well done on the outside and almost completely raw on the inside. The meat itself was tasty though. I got some good 'camera in the face' time, but I'm not sure if my husband's and my awkward conversation will make for a good TV clip.
My waiter was wonderful despite the cameras following him around. The owner was nervous but attentive, not in a terrible, annoying way. He seemed very likable. I hope this show helps the restaurant.
I think my favorite part of the evening, besides a very nice Merlot, was when Gordon Ramsay insisted on carrying a baby carriage up the stairs-- with the sleeping baby in it.”

Rather than try to write a clever entry that flows well, I’m just going to post this. It’s short, it’s honest, and I have to get ready to go to the Oscar Film Shorts at the Avon tonight!

A, if you are not the cleavage-bearer, let me know. Or, if you want me to take mention of your cleavage off the blog, email me. I’m assuming since you wore the shirt, you are proud of your cleavage. I would be!